Life Lessons I Learned During a Week on Cape Cod With My Parents

I had a great time don't get me wrong. The Bozo Train from LA came in right on time so we all got to spend some great Family Time Together
  1. If sand gets on the floor it causes a chemical reaction that will kill everyone in the house
    They didn't say this specifically but I pieced it together from what my teachers call "context clues"
  2. There is some sort of poison gas or monster who lives in the fridge so if you leave the door to the fridge open for more than five seconds everyone will be obliterated
    Again context clues
  3. If you make sure to take bottles of hotel shampoo every time you are at a hotel you can save 3 dollars on a real bottle of shampoo over the course of a lifetime
    Of course there is a risk that sometimes you will not have shampoo but hey thems the breaks
  4. There are only two TV shows in the entire world: Red Sox games and Key & Peele
    Hey one out of two ain't bad
  5. The right way to watch a Red Sox game is by fast forwarding between every pitch and then rewinding whenever you miss something that looks like it was important
  6. We have no idea how something about the winter and the dunes and something almost something and it was an extremely close call