The Most Embarrassing Things in the Entire World

  1. 1.
    Trying on sunglasses
    "Hi, do you have a mirror somewhere? I need to see if I look extremely cool or not. Is there space next to other people doing the same thing? Great, I'll just elbow in next to them. Haha, just trying this pair as a joke. But gonna make a serious expression anyway just for kicks. Also gonna try to cover this security tag and pull it up away from my nose while still testing out my cool expression. Haha excuse me"
  2. 2.
    Trying on jeans
    "Hi, looking for my size! Couple things: if the waist is an inch too big I will look terrible and want to kill myself and if it is half an inch too small I will feel terrible and want to kill myself, so there's that. Also I know it might stretch or it also might shrink in the wash...Oh, both are true? Gotcha, no problem, sounds self-explanatory and not confusing! Also I'm going to need a mirror where I can somehow see my own butt? Thanks. Also does your dressing room have a suicide contraption?"
  3. 3.
    Trying on bathing suits
    JK I would never try to do this. I'll just not experience summer. Seriously it's no problem there's stuff I've been meaning to watch
  4. 4.
    Trying on friendships
    "Hey, want to go to Newbury Street this weekend? I need to find some sunglasses. Yeah a group would be great. Yeah just to be clear, this is the group so far. Okayyy cool!"