DEPRESSING FOODS I'VE SPILLED ON MY INFANT WHILE BREAST FEEDING

For some reason it's never the healthy food that I find stuck to her little body
  1. Oreo crumbs
    I have a class 1 gluten allergy so shouldn't be eating these for multiple reasons but here we are.
  2. Cold coffee
    A little coffee is ok so relax and I can't drink hot liquids near a baby which is why it's cold. Sad fact: coffee spills are the #1 cause of burns on babies, and they're usually on the face 😞😣(according to the lady at Cedars that teaches the breast feeding class).
  3. Lay's Potato Chips
    Classic flavor. This would be more depressing if it were like Cheeto dust according to my husband. It's never a WHOLE chip I find on her, but it's a large enough piece or enough crumbs that it feels shameful.
  4. Juice from a Popsicle
    They're Trader Joe's Popsicles so they're not loaded with shit, also it's hot in the Valley and I need to stay hydrated so this isn't that bad.
  5. Ketchup from a Wendy's Double Cheese Burger
    I know - why am I eating fast food when I'm breastfeeding! That's so irresponsible! Well breast feeding burns like 500 calories a day according to the lady at Cedars that teaches the breast feeding class so it's like I didn't even eat this so let's everybody calm down.