Feelings About Flying on Airplanes

Because I'm on an airplane and waiting to fly. (You should probably also know that I'm flying United.)
  1. Sometimes airplanes are filled with hot air and a large crowd of passengers is forced to disembark. This makes me feel frustrated.
  2. When this happens, I need wine. Airport wine makes me feel: $25 less rich and 72% more sleepy.
  3. I feel discouraged when I crack open the plastic on my box of oily soba noodles ($10.99) but a little bit better when they join the potato chips I inhaled three hours ago on New Jersey Transit.
  4. I feel sorry for the flight attendants. People really are the worst.
  5. I feel a little warm again in my new seat. Is the air working? Are we going to make it this time?
  6. I feel like I need some more wine.
  7. I feel nervous when they tell me to put my phone away. "But my list!" Priorities.
  8. I feel stiff, as if I were 30 years older than I actually am. It's been 10 minutes and we're about to fly to the other side of a really big country. We're trapped.
  9. I feel jealous of the woman in first class who just requested sparkling, with ice.
  10. I feel the plane moving. This is real!