Feelings About Flying on Airplanes
Because I'm on an airplane and waiting to fly. (You should probably also know that I'm flying United.)
- •Sometimes airplanes are filled with hot air and a large crowd of passengers is forced to disembark. This makes me feel frustrated.
- •When this happens, I need wine. Airport wine makes me feel: $25 less rich and 72% more sleepy.
- •I feel discouraged when I crack open the plastic on my box of oily soba noodles ($10.99) but a little bit better when they join the potato chips I inhaled three hours ago on New Jersey Transit.
- •I feel sorry for the flight attendants. People really are the worst.
- •I feel a little warm again in my new seat. Is the air working? Are we going to make it this time?
- •I feel like I need some more wine.
- •I feel nervous when they tell me to put my phone away. "But my list!" Priorities.
- •I feel stiff, as if I were 30 years older than I actually am. It's been 10 minutes and we're about to fly to the other side of a really big country. We're trapped.
- •I feel jealous of the woman in first class who just requested sparkling, with ice.
- •I feel the plane moving. This is real!