AWKWARD THINGS I HAVE DONE IN AUDITIONS

There's nothing like an audition to make me feel sufficiently awkward and clown-like
  1. HUGGED THE DIRECTOR AS HE WAS CLEARLY GOING IN FOR A HANDSHAKE
    Mid-hug with my arms outstretched I paused for a brief moment, deciding whether to continue, and time felt like it slowed. I ended up going for the hug and then decided to explain my decision with the overused, "I'm a hugger." And then I died.
  2. FOLLOWED THE DIRECTOR AND WRITER INTO THE KITCHEN AS THEY GOT WATER
    This was actually the same audition as the above incident. They came up and greeted me so I thought that they were coming to bring me into the audition. I got up and followed them into another room, attempting to start conversation, and they stopped and started filling up glass cups. I then realized we were in the kitchen. The writer looked at me and said, "Um, we actually just came in here to get water... We'll definitely come get you when we're ready to start."
  3. MADE A JOKE THAT WAS MET WITH SILENCE
    The casting assistant asked me if I wouldn't mind moving the chair out of the way and I told them it was violating child labor laws. Everyone stared. The director offered up a half-hearted laugh but it was too late.
  4. ATTEMPTED TO SHAKE EVERYONE'S HAND
    One time while testing for a tv show, I was in a room with probably about 15 people. In an effort to be polite, I shook the first person who introduced themselves' hand and then felt obligated to do that to everyone else so it didn't look weird that I only shook one person's hand.
  5. AND MUCH MUCH MORE