Things you would never say unless you have kids or live in a frat house

I am a mom of 3 boys- 8,5 and 3 mths. This is my full time job and sometimes I feel like an RA from a college dorm
  1. If you pick your butt one more time I'm going to slap that hand
  2. Why is your finger always in places it shouldn't be??
  3. It is NEVER ok to touch your brothers butt. ( two brothers)
  4. Please be quiet, please be quiet, please be quiet.... JUST SHUT UP
  5. Yes mommies have vaginas and boys have a penis, no you cannot see my vagina ( 3 year old questions)
  6. It is not ok to shoot your snot at your brother, I don't care that he mooned you.
  7. Why would you put your brothers toe in your nose?
  8. Who peed on the back of the toilet? And possibly the wall??
  9. Please clean out the sink, who used that much toothpaste??