HOW TO MAKE STEAM

Tired of buying all your steam at department stores? Can't afford to order in bulk from steam distributors? Well, steam is easy to make yourself. Follow these easy steps.
  1. 1.
    Get a bucket
  2. 2.
    Travel to the Arctic
  3. 3.
    Chip off a piece of glacial ice.
    If it's tough use bucket edge as a makeshift chisel.
  4. 4.
    Put ice in the bucket and travel to your home town.
  5. 5.
    Go to city hall.
  6. 6.
    Take ice out of bucket.
  7. 7.
    Kill city hall security by beating them with bucket.
  8. 8.
    Dispose of bucket.
  9. 9.
    Go to the basement.
  10. 10.
    Use ice to bang on pipes until it bursts open.
  11. 11.
    If water comes out, move to a new pipe and repeat step 10.
  12. 12.
    If steam comes out collect it!
  13. 13.
    Congrats! You got some free steam.
    *Minus cost of bucket and round trip travel fare to the Arctic.