++BEST EXCUSES IVE USED TO SKIP WORK++
i was a copywriter at an ad agency for a couple of years. towards the end, they laid all my friends off and gave me the leftover burden. so i slowly became entirely apathetic and began playing hooky often.
- •accidentally took a xanax instead of my heartburn pill this morning.I've definitely used this excuse twice and it's legit.
- •food poisoningshoutout to @Shrimptooth for this advice. this has become my go-to, no one can really call you out on it bc it comes out of nowhere and only lasts a perfect work day. I usually blame grocery store sushi.
- •apartment is getting robbedI've used this to leave work early. just ran up to my boss and said 'my landlord called and said there was a break-in, gotta go see what the deal is.'
- •threw my back out/hurt my legproblem w this one is that you gotta pretend like you're still in pain once you go back to the office. tip - gotta always remember what lies you tell.
- •parents are in townof course they aren't.
- •'minor car accident, gonna be a little late'usually just call early say I got into a fender bender, then i call back a half hour later saying that 'they're telling me now that my car is not safe enough to drive and it's gotta be towed to a mechanic. idk anything about cars or how long this is gonna take' then I fall back asleep. wake up 'still at the mechanic, ill just work from home today'. then i don't work from home. then you just gotta park far away from your boss' spot for a week.
- •'i swear i thought everyone got off Labor Day?!'also works for Memorial Day and any other national holiday that your asshole company isn't giving you a day off for
- •"What are you talking about? I was here all day!"i had the advantage of working in a GIANT warehouse, turned new-age-industrial-looking wide open office. so i just said i was working out of a room i know no one goes in. this excuse also worked twice. tip - can't tell the same lie more than twice.
- •fluan oldie but a goodie. you use this excuse to skip a thursday... you got yourself a four day weekend. pending your apathy, you might be able to start this excuse earlier in the week for some more r&r.
- •can't come in today, jumanji is happening to menever used this one but I wanted to
- •My apt is flooding?? I've used this it makes no sense.Suggested by @juliavalentine