HILARIOUS PUNCH LINES TO USE FOR JOKES AT BARS OR RESTAURANTS TO IMPRESS PEOPLE

  1. ...and boy are my arms tired!
  2. That's not a refrigerator, THATS MY WIFE
  3. Hey bartender, this ones on the house!
  4. Why the long face??!
  5. ...and i says to Keith, "that's no stretch limo, that's my mothers minivan!"
  6. No, you said you would pay! I'm not lying! Ha!
  7. ... Because she was bad a WRAPPING! Get it? It's a pun haha!
  8. Yeah I really said that! He just ran away scared!
  9. No way! I ain't leaving, this is a free country!
  10. Get me another drink before I call the city and tell them all of your sanitation violations!
  11. Next thing I know, IM NAKED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT, TRUE STORY!
  12. No officer, he's restricting MY right to drink! I have freedom of speech here don't I???
  13. Get your hands off me, I'll say you used unnecessary force!
  14. Yeah your seafood sucks anyway and your drinks are overpriced!
  15. I guess you could say he had low shellfish steam! Haha am I right???
  16. No officer I haven't been drinking
  17. Hey mom, I won't be making it home tonight, you can turn off the porch light.