HOW TO TEACH BASKETBALL TO SOMEONE YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO

Kevin's foolproof guide to getting that special someone by balling hard ;^)
  1. Stand at free throw line directly behind your special someone
    It's actually called "charity line". You'll want to say that so you can show your b-ball savviness
  2. Firmly grasp elbows. Like, the funny bone area probably
    Make sure their arms are 1000% flaccid so YOU are in control. Odds are, your special someone loves when the other person takes control :^)
  3. Use their arms to remove any sort of dangerous weapon they may be carrying.
    Just go ahead and check for gun in their waistband or blade in their sock using their hands. You don't want to touch that dangerous stuff with your own hand!
  4. Go into killer(and well rehearsed) dance routine
    Using their limp arms to dance will show that you have a good sense of humor and you have some top-notch moves.
  5. Grab basketball and show correct form
    As the legendary Shaun T (Hip-Hop Abs, Insanity) says "Never sacrifice form"
  6. Refrain from throwing basketball to golden retriever near by
    Unless it's wearing an adorably fitted jersey, it's probably not Disney's Air Bud.
  7. Wait for the buzzer to go down to 0:02 seconds then shoot the ball with their limp hands
    Patience is EVERYTHING. Since you're already a pro, just aim it to the basket and you'll make it.
  8. Win the big game and you'll win their heart
    Guys it works every time. Turn them around and kiss them on their face!