THINGS TO DO FOR MY STOMACH HURTING

No need for doctors when you have this list!
  1. Go to doctor
  2. Pepto BABY
  3. Eat an apple
    Not sure if this works, but it's health food
  4. Brew an elixir that will heal all wounds and makes stomach stop hurt
  5. Eat a pineapple
    The acidity will kill all bacteria
  6. Smoke cig
    Smoke suffocates bacteria in stomach
  7. Get a pill that makes you hurt go away
  8. Get a better attitude!