Things Im Looking 4ward to in My 40s

I won't have any daughters.
  1. Pine wood derby races.
    I'm gonna put the engineering degree to work on this one. My kid won't learn a thing. I'll be that guy. Other Boy Scout fathers will be disappointed in me. But I'll win.
  2. Drinking at my sons little league games
    They used to serve beer at my little league games. But I'll probably have to sneak it in. It's 2015 people are getting softer.
  3. Fighting the little league umpire
    Probably a result of sneaking booze into the game. Maybe I'll fight The couch too for not seeing eye to eye with me about my kid going to the show. He's wasting my sons talent in right field
  4. Taking trips to the Home Depot
    I'm going to have the best kept yard in the neighborhood. Probably invest in a super nice lawn mower. And a super nice rake and shovel.
  5. Having frequent flyer miles
    Everyone seems to have these. I want in on it. And those free drink vouchers
  6. Midlife crisis
    Probably buy a boat.
  7. Having "that" chair
    It won't have any bells and whistles. Won't be a massage chair. Just a comfortable place to yell at the TV. I love sports.