Things I Heard a Mother Say to Her Daughter as They Waited for Their Flight to #dead50 at an Lax Bar

  1. "What you have to remember, baby, is Jeff's the most fun boyfriend I've ever had."
  2. "If we don't make plans for Jerry Day now we're fucked."
  3. "You have that agility from your horse racing that translates directly to snowboarding."
  4. "Did you see Billy's tweet about the double rainbow over Mill Valley?"
  5. "If I had my way, I would've breastfed your brother until he was twenty-five."
  6. "What you can never forget is that your father manifested our living conditions, he is the maestro of our family."
  7. "Thank fucking God that Jeff is not your father."