How to Make an Oscar Winning Movie

  1. all or mostly white cast
  2. if you can't get an all white cast, make it an all or mostly black cast and call it "revolutionary"
    I'm sorry, shouldn't movies like this be pretty normal by now? I mean seriously it's 2016. plus black movies can have plots that are more than racism and gangs
  3. have a well liked actor/actress play the main role
  4. have many "artsy shots" in fact, have too many artsy shots where the audience starts saying "well...I think it's good, I mean, I can't tell if the constant panning to the bird is symbolism or just for aesthetic purposes"
  5. plot doesn't matter
    you can have a shitty plot and still win an Oscar
  6. final note: how the fuck are some of these films nominated