Ways to Sneak Out of Your Exe's House Without Getting Caught or Noticed

  1. Sewers
    Make this your last option when everything else fails
  2. Call a friend to go pretend he's the AC guy and escape while he's distracting her.
  3. Windows
    The basic most common way
  4. Hide in the closet for 12 hours straight until she goes off to work
    Don't forget to bring food in your coat just in case it gets longer
  5. The drainpipe
  6. Misdirection
    Let her chase something (eg rat) (yes bring 2 rats with you just in case the first one escaped or fall asleep) (yes rats fall asleep) in the bedroom while you escape from the kitchen
  7. Air duct
  8. Make scary noises in the bathroom so she gets freaked out and scared and never leaves her room while you take advantage of that and sneak out
    You can also ask her in scary voices about secrets you wanna know like who was that blonde guy she's dating 6 months ago, but try your best not to sound like you.
  9. Chimney
    Dammit why it's so dark in here, sure it smells better than the sewage!
  10. Collect cloths and stuff while you're hiding in the closet and make a batman suit out of it then wear it and march outta the house like you gotta save Gotham
    She won't say a word, believe me on this one.
  11. Confrontation
    Tell her you were getting YOUR sex tape, nothing else and about to leave, oh and that you love her so bad and wanna get back together, damn it's been like forever since last time we talked. Do you miss me too? Do you? Do you? Do you?
  12. Slip a sleeping agent into her drink and escape while she's napping
    Don't forget before leaving to take embarrassing selfies with her while not being aware. Haha OWENED! *high fives self
  13. Hide in the garbage can and open the door (while being in that can) and sliddeeee, she wouldn't think that a person is in that can, or would she!! Dammit, ofcourse she'll think it's the wind or a cat or something.
    I personally haven't tried that one, so I don't know the consequences yet but sure if you tried it, I'm all ears, and this list is editable btw 😉
  14. The screen from the mission impossible movie where you freezes the view of the door while you're behind that screen escaping
  15. Pro tip: If she has a puppy that would ruin everything with barking you gotta spend 1 extra week before breaking into her house to make sure he obeys you and that you're his master
    How it's done without breaking into her house, simple, wait when she's walking it.