Things Gentrifiers Say

I live in Crown Heights, Brooklyn and I grew up here too. You may have heard that it's being gentrified. Here are things I've heard my new neighbors say.
  1. 1.
    When I moved here, there was NOTHING here. I mean, like NO one lived here. (Said while Black people, who've lived here for 50 yrs, look on in disbelief).
  2. 2.
    I know you're eating, but the bathroom is super sketch so I'm gonna change my baby here, ok-great-thanks. (Changes dirty diaper at the table, next to my food)
  3. 3.
    When I first moved here, I thought (ethnic restaurant X) had the best (ethnic food X), but now I realize that (ethnic restaurant X) actually has the best (ethnic food X). It's MUCH more authentic. We don't have anything like this back home.
  4. 4.
    Is this vegan? Seriously, is this vegan? (Said to an unamused Jamaican lady at a roti shop)
  5. 5.
    Is the cat calling bad? Sure. But that's just how they communicate. They don't KNOW any better. It's actually racist if you complain about it.
  6. 6.
    Can I pet your dog? (Doesn’t wait for an answer and pets my pit bull)
  7. 7.
    My Dad says I have to have a job for at least a few hours a week, so like… bartending, right? (Ignores me, while I wait for a drink)
  8. 8.
    Oh my God. This neighborhood was sooo cool, until all these WHITE people started moving in. (Has lived here for 6 months)