1. I don't drink "regular" water.
  2. Papaya smells like vomit to some people. . .Scientifically.
  3. Roses, most of the time, smell like pee to me.
  4. It's Thanksgiving you're supposed to push your limits.
  5. Nobody knows I'm wearing sweatpants!
  6. They do that sort of thing in Japan.
  7. I made sure not to wear pants today.
  8. She used to be hooked on Coke.
  9. When I eat potato chips. . . yeah, that's like vegetables.
  10. My throat is so tender.
  11. "How did she tell you she was a sociopath?" ..."in the hot tub"
  12. She had a can labeled "emergency soda" under her bed.