1. I'm vegan which apparently immediately gives you the title of being an asshole.
  2. When retail workers ask me how I'm doing I usually don't reply because I'm either a. incredibly shy or b. too deaf to hear them.
  3. I swear a lot. People don't seem to enjoy this.
  4. When I'm trying to say something nice it comes out in a bitchy tone which I can't seem to overcome.
  5. Nobody agrees with my views on political topics which makes me feel like an asshole.
  6. I talk aloud to myself way too often which makes me think I love myself too much. This could potentially mean I am an asshole.