Thanksgiving Things That Explain My Family

We are Jewish atheists. Our religion is contrarian intellectualism. We had a guest who had never been to a Jew's house for the holidays before (he asked if we still celebrate on Thursday) So we...
  1. We had pork.
  2. The only turkeys on the table were turkey shaped candles
  3. We put out a menorah just to confuse things. We had to buy the menorah as we did not have one.
  4. We discussed politics and no one disagreed with anyone
  5. We played Christmas music but only by Neil Diamond and Barbara Streisand