Elaine's Boyfriends

I don't believe this has been listed about in depth so let's see who "could handle the work load" and who got "yada, yada, yada'd" over in favor of the bisque.
  1. β€’
    First please note never seen, made up, guilt, pity, curiosity dates and crushes don't count.
    Robert the cat guy, Edwardo Corrochio, JFK Jr, Pencil store guy, TV Guide weirdo, Denim vest, Zack, Vincent( video store) and Fred πŸ‘†who couldn't remember her name, Mr. Lippman and his son are all out.
  2. β€’
    Dr. Tongue Season 2 Episode 8
    The doctor who treats George for his tonsillitis while in the hospital. No second date.
  3. β€’
    Jerry Seinfeld Season 2 Episode 9
    Elaine makes a deal with Jerry ( her ex BF) to have sex while remaining friends. (Friends with benefits) They add some simple rules to keep things from getting complicated such as sleeping over is optional and no phone calls the next day. None of it really works out and they fight. Despite the final scene of Elaine walking out of Jerry's bedroom half dressed they ultimately end up just friends no benefits. To be continued....
  4. β€’
    Ed from Seattle Season 2 Episode 12
    After spending a week together in Elaine's apartment she declares " if I don't get this guy on a plane to Seattle and out of my life I am gonna kill him and anyone who tries to stop me." Been there!
  5. β€’
    Owen March Season 3 Episode 11
    Sixty six year old Owen March has a stroke just as Elaine is about to break up with him because she doesn't enjoy being with him. She does finally manage to break up with him during his recovery period only to find out later he was just using her for sex. *This takes places during the famous "These pretzels are making me thirty" episode.
  6. β€’
    Dick Season 3 Episode 12
    Dick ( David Naughton) is a coworker Elaine is having an office fling with, he also happens to be a recovering alcoholic. After accidentally drinking Elaine's cranberry and vodka at their office Christmas party Dick falls off the wagon.
  7. β€’
    Keith Hernandez Season 3 Episodes 17 & 18.
    After Jerry befriends Keith he introduces Keith to Elaine and they date a few times. Several references to "bases" are mentioned and everything seems to be going quite well until she finds out he smokes. Elaine hates smoking.
  8. β€’
    Dr. Reston Season 4 Episode 4
    Elaine starts dating her therapist and they travel to Europe together. When they return home she wants to break up with him but is concerned since he has this "Sven-jolly" like hold on her. She enlists Kramer to pretend to be her new boyfriend. He ends up having to meet the doctor to talk it over.
  9. β€’
    "Crazy" Joe Davilo Season 4 Episode 5 & 9
    Elaine meets Joe on the street while waiting for Kramer who is upstairs with Dr. Reston. Meanwhile Joe and Elaine flirt and she gives him her number. A few episodes later Elaine discovers the "crazy" side of Joe when she pops in to his apartment unannounced. ( The pop in is never a good idea) This ends with her spraying him with cherry binaca to escape his apartment and run out.
  10. β€’
    Fred the religious guy Season 4 Episode 13
    Elaine has Kramer take a picture of her for her Christmas card. After sending it out to everyone she knows, Jerry points out that her nipple is showing. Not only does she gain the nickname "nip" at her office it leads to the break up of her and conservative/religious BF Fred who doesn't understand how she could miss a button. This also happens to be the famous nose picking episode. Who doesn't love a good nose pick?
  11. β€’
    Russell Dalrymple Season 4 Episode 16 (technically a pity date but a key plot point)
    Russell first eyes Elaine when she shows up at Pfeiffer's restaurant in a low cut top, leans over and asks him if he has a "ketchup secret". He takes notice. All of this is set up so George and Jerry's "field of vision" excuse for checking out Russell's 15 yr old daughter Molly's cleavage works and they can get back to working on the "Jerry" pilot with Russell. Cameo by a young Denise Richards.
  12. β€’
    Roy the "triangle" artist. Season 4 Episode 20
    Elaine visits her fat starving artist ex-boyfriend in the hospital only to discover he as lost a lot of weight. She flirts with him and asks him out. Originally she asked Jerry to pretend to be her boyfriend while they were there but ignores this plan once she sees how attractive he is again. * This is the famous junior mint episode. Also Roy's doctor is the same one who handles Susan's poisoning several seasons later.
  13. β€’
    Carl Season 4 Episode 21 "Do I smell something? What am I hard of smelling? Of course I smell something!"
    Carl unfortunately had the bad luck of dating Elaine after she spent time in Jerry's B.O. car. After an embrace and a sniff he gives her the "have to get up early excuse" which per Jerry is bullshit as men "will always trade sleep for sex". (Very true) Despite a thorough shower and explaining things to Carl he still finds her stinky. She heads to a salon for special hair treatment but is still stinky. Finally she "gets sauced" as in a tomato sauce hair wash. Excellent cameo by Taylor Negron.
  14. β€’
    Russell Dalryple Season 4 Episode 23 & 24 After one date and two months of phone calls to her, Elaine reluctantly agrees to meet Russell for a drink.
    He can't stop thinking about her. She resists and tells him he is the president of the network and can have any woman he wants. Finally she tells him TV doesn't interest her maybe if he was in "Greenpeace" or something. He tells her all about this "ground breaking" new show he is working on about nothing. She is unimpressed and says I'm sorry bye-bye. Russell is devastated. He leaves his network job and actually joins Greenpeace! His replacement Rita hates the show and passes on it.
  15. β€’
    Jerry Seinfeld Season 5 Episode 1 "Fake, fake, fake, fake.
    Technically he really doesn't count as a boyfriend but its Jerry! When Elaine reveals she faked orgasms with Jerry while they dated, Jerry becomes obsessed with proving he can master this feat. Despite Elaine telling him it's no big deal/it was a long time ago Jerry insists she give him "another shot." After a lot of bickering she eventually gives in to "save the friendship" Sadly, Jerry is unable to preform under the pressure and hopes Joes fruit stand mango will do the trick.
  16. β€’
    Jake Jarmel Season 5 Episode 4
    A writer Elaine meets at work, they fight and break up over his lack of using exclamation points. "I've never heard of a relationship being affected by punctuation." -Jerry. They reunite in the next season.
  17. β€’
    Lloyd Braun Season 5 Episode 7
    A top advisor to then NYC Mayor David Dinkins, Lloyd is a childhood frenemy of George. After they run into each other at the so called non fat yogurt shop he later asks George for Elaine's number. Once Lloyd notices the extra weight Elaine has put on by eating so much yogurt the potential romance fizzles. Meanwhile Lloyd's suggestion ( he got from Elaine) for everyone in the city to wear name tags costs Dinkins the reelection and Lloyd has a nervous breakdown.
  18. β€’
    Joel Rifkin Season 5 Episode 9 "OJ Rifkin?"
    Realizing that it's a problem to date someone with the same name as serial killer, Elaine trys to convince Joel to change his first name. One of her first suggestions is that Joel change his to OJ!
  19. β€’
    The Podiatrist Season 5 Episode 11 "Fungicide? Fungus?"
    This guy (Tom Verica) apparently never got an actual name. He just went from doctor to podiatrist. "Anybody can get into podiatry school, "George" got in to podiatry school." -Jerry
  20. β€’
    Tony Season 5 Episode 12
    Elaine's mimbo ( male bimbo) Tony ( Dan Cortese) sadly has a bad rock climbing accident thanks to George and Kramer which ruins his good looks. "Step off George, Step off!"
  21. β€’
    Phil Totola Season 5 Episode 16
    Jerry sets up Elaine on a date with his good friend Phil. Everything is going well until they are about to say goodnight. The next day when Jerry asks how the date went we learn "He took it out." After Jerry repeats the date story to George he says "Wow, I spend so much time trying to get their clothes off, I never thought of taking mine off." πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
  22. β€’
    Aaron aka "the close talker" Season 5 Episode 17 & 18
    Judge Reinhold plays Elaine's newest BF Aaron. Despite his habit of standing too close when he talks to people he seems perfect. Until he starts to take Mr. and Mrs. Seinfeld around town even though they are complete strangers. Elaine and Jerry decide he is "certifiably"nice. This is a great episode as it includes The Seinfelds, The Constanzas and Newman.
  23. β€’
    Jake Jarmel Season 5 Episode 22
    Round Two! Elaine and Jake get back together and are getting serious, they discuss moving in together! Unfortunately a car accident and a box of Jujyfruit crashes and burns this relationship completely. Oh well Next!
  24. β€’
    Carl Season 6 Episode 5 "He doesn't play games."
    Elaine meets Carl (David James Elliot) when he delivers a new couch to Jerry's apartment and agrees to deliver the old couch to Elaine's place. Elaine declares "this is it " in terms of the perfect guy. Jerry of course makes trouble when he questions Elaine on Carl's take on the pro-choice issue. She assumes he is because " he's just so good looking" Never assume!
  25. β€’
    Simon Season 6 Episode 7 "Pardon?"
    On a trip to England with her then boss -Mr. Pitt, Elaine meets Simon and decides to fly him to the US to stay with her. After mooching off of her and everyone for a while Simon is declared a real "Bounder" and Elaine can't wait for him to leave. Unfortunately for him Bania wants his suit back and it doesn't end well.
  26. β€’
    Ned Isakoff Season 6 Episode 10 Ned is Red
    Ned is a communist, which is fine with Elaine if only he wouldn't dress in such drab clothing! Unfortunately she gets him banned from his favorite Chinese food restaurant Hop Sings and they quickly break up.
  27. β€’
    Tim Whatley Season 6 Episode 12 "He is a re gifter!"
    Although he first appears in episode 8 ( The Mom & Pop Store) when he hosts his annual night before Thanksgiving party, Elaine and Tim ( Bryan Cranston) don't hook up until "The label maker" episode where "regifting" is introduced leading Jerry to end up at the Super Bowl with Newman.
  28. β€’
    Robert Season 6 Episode 16 "Have you ever considered switching teams?"
    While pretending to be his girlfriend in front of his boss ( to cover up the fact that he is gay) Elaine falls for Robert and tries to get him to "switch teams." But ultimately he is set with his team.
  29. β€’
    Jimmy Season 6 Episode 18 "Don't touch Jimmy!"
    Yikes what an ass! Only referring to himself in the third person "Jimmy" manages to get a date with Elaine via this miscommunication. She figures it out but invites him anyway to the AMA benefit featuring Mel Torme where Kramer is a guest of honor.
  30. β€’
    David Puddy Season 6 Episode 19 "He did the move"
    Elaine's only "steady" boyfriend, David Puddy ( Patrick Warburton) reappears in numerous episodes. He clearly could "handle the work load," despite the look on Elaine's face here. My favorite Puddy line "Feels like an Arby's night"
  31. β€’
    Is Puddy my Fav Elaine BF?
    I am fine with the high fives, the squinting and the staring into space. But the man fur can stay in the tree.
  32. β€’
    Bob Cobb aka "The Maestro" Season 7 Episode 3
    Bob prefers to be called "The Maestro" because he is the conductor of the Policeman's benevolent association orchestra. Between this and his insistence that there are no houses to rent in all of Tuscany Jerry is not a fan. Meanwhile he and Elaine date and she joins him on a trip to his house in Tuscany.
  33. β€’
    James Season 7 Episode 4 "I still can't believe you are going out on a blind date." "I'm not worried, it sounds like he is really good looking." "You're going by sound? What are we whales?"
    James is Elaine's wake up service guy. ( I don't get it either) After flirting on the phone they go on a blind date only to discover his dogs don't like her. She has a bad history with dogs. Later his dogs find her coat pockets (which is actually Jerry's coat) are filled with her cousin Holly's mutton plus her grandmothers cloth napkins, and tear it up to get to the meat. All of this leads to trouble for Elaine and Jerry with Holly. "Hey, Salads got nothin on this mutton."
  34. β€’
    Billy Season 7 Episode Episode 9 "So you think you are Sponge worthy?"
    After learning the Today Sponge is off the market, Elaine manages to track down the last case in the city. This means she needs to be more selective with her screening process. After pitching his case and agreeing to trim his side burns and clean his bath tub Billy is finally deemed "sponge worthy." But not enough to use another Sponge the next morning. Sorry dude.
  35. β€’
    John Jermaine Season 7 Episode 11 "They are pretty hot and heavy."
    After glowing to Jerry about John. "So I take it he sponge worthy?" "Oh Yeah!" " Well he is a musician, I guess they are supposed to be very, you know free and uninhibited." "Well actually he's , he's not that way at all." "Oh no?" "Yeah in fact he....(moaning)" "Come on, come on." "I don't wanna!" "Elaine, you are among friends." [Sighs] "Well, actually he um, doesn't like to do....everything." You can see where this is headed. * This is the famous "Marble Rye" Episode.
  36. β€’
    Craig Season 7 Episode 18 "Excuse me I'd like to return this jacket." "Certainly, may I ask why?" "For spite..." "Spite?"
    Ugh! I don't even want to type about this obnoxious asshole. Craig is a salesman at the Andover Shop who meets/flirts with Elaine while she is shopping with Jerry for a jacket/blazer. He tells Elaine he can get her a big discount on a Nicole Miller dress she likes as soon as they arrive. Turns out the store has plenty in stock and he was just playing her.
  37. β€’
    Todd Gack Season 7 Episode 20 "Dustin Hoffman in Star Wars?"
    Another winner! "What kind of name is Todd Gack anyway?" " I think it's Dutch."
  38. β€’
    David Lukner Season 7 Episode 23 "Boy, you could have done a lot better than this guy."
    After George's comment to David (Cary Elwes) and Beth (Debra Messing) causes them to split up. Jerry and Elaine use the opportunity to break them up permanently so they can date them. While Elaine manages to breath new life into her catch Jerry can't seem to keep Beth interested. The Lukners reunite.
  39. β€’
    Kevin Season 8 Episode 2 & 3
    Even though Elaine breaks up with Kevin ( they once bonded over "procreation, it's been done to death.") they decide to stay friends. She notices he is more reliable than Jerry and the gang and decides to join his group. Unfortunately they end up kicking her out after one of her classic "Get Out!" moves.
  40. β€’
    Brett Season 8 Episode 7 "What does he listen to the all "Desperado" station?
    Ah Brett! Another one of my favs! He has such great Karl Farbman like taste. If only he would share his favorite song "Desperado" by The Eagles with Elaine. She is running out of guys in this city, Jer! 🎢 Special Dedication 🎢 πŸ“»πŸŽ€
  41. β€’
    Ben Season 9 Episode 8 "I thought the whole dream of dating a doctor was debunked?"
    Ben ( Bob Odenkirk) is studying to pass his medical licensing exam. Elaine, dreaming to say she is dating a doctor decides to withhold sex and help him study until he passes but she discovers it has the reverse effect on her. Once he passes he dumps her to fulfill his dream of dating someone better.
  42. β€’
    Alan Mercer Season 8 Episode 10 "Oh right the blind date." "Well they call it a set up now. I guess the blind people don't like being associated with all those losers."
    After their "set up" date Elaine dumps Alan because she learns he is a bad "breaker upper",to the point where women physically attack him after they break up. He deems Elaine "big-head" which at first she finds amusing until it starts to effect her. When they reunite he comments her big head goes well with the bump in her nose and all hell breaks loose.
  43. β€’
    Kurt Season 8 Episode 11 "Is he from the future?"- Jerry "No he just shaves his head. I think it's pretty gutsy." -Elaine "Listen,sweetheart let me tell you a little something about guts."George
    After Elaine sees Kurt's photo on his drivers licenses she asks him to grow out he chestnut hair with auburn highlights. They soon discover Kurt is going bald. Depressed πŸ‘†Kurt seeks advice from George who gives him 10 months before his hair really disappears. Kurt decides to propose to Elaine but before Elaine can give him her answer he is confused for George and arrested and jailed for fighting with the cops.
  44. β€’
    Blaine Season 8 Episode 17 "Sex in a tub, that doesn't work!"
    Elaine and Blaine go to the movies, she wants to see "Sack Lunch" while he votes and wins for "The English Patient." Afterwards she declares "it sucked." Later Elaine goes back to the theater alone to catch "Sack Lunch", only she finds her friend Carol ( you gotta have a baby!) and annoying others coming out after just seeing The English Patient again but with Blane this time. He tells a surprised Elaine "To tell you the truth I just can't be with someone who doesn't like "The English Patient."
  45. β€’
    Hal Kitsmiller Season 8 Episode 18 "So you think he was expecting a role in the supportive hay?"
    During their first stroll through the park date, Hal tells Elaine about his bad back and that he only buys furniture at a ergonomics store- The Lumbar Yard. Before their second date at Elaine apartment she gets a new mattress from Hal. Assuming the wrong intentions,she cancels their date and gives Kramer the mattress. Later she finds out it was actually a sincere gift and gets it back from Kramer. Unfortunately by then Kramer had stunk it up from swimming in the East River. A new trend emerges.
  46. β€’
    Jack Season 9 Episode 5 "Nobody beats the Wiz!"
    Elaine meets Jake at the coffee shop and is mysteriously taken with him. At the same time Puddy is back in the picture. She decides not to fire Puddy until she sees if this new guy "can handle the work load." After Jerry meets Jack, he remembers where the guy is from, he played "The Wiz" in that old TV commercial. Elaine declares Jack is not an idiot until he leaves his fact checking job at New York Magazine to go back to his old gig. "I'm the wiz and nooobody beats me!"
  47. β€’
    Glen Season 9 Episode 14 "I don't care for jewelry on men."
    After meeting Glen on the street and finding out nothing about him Elaine assumes he is hiding another relationship. But she hasn't talked to Puddy in like three weeks so what the hell. Jerry thinks he could be the super hero Green Lantern. "Which one is he again?" "The one with the ring." πŸ‘† Turns out he is the "got no green lantern" aka poor. Elaine decides to continue dating him anyway and even buys him a new TV etc until she finds out he is married and poor. Ouch!
  48. β€’
    Darryl Season 9 Episode 15 "Still no Puddy?" "Oh I think his answering machine is broken so I just gave up."
    After Elaine introduces Darryl to Jerry and George and asks "What do you think?" A debate breaks out over his ethnicity. After some guessing and trial and error Elaine gives up. "So now were going to a bunch of Spanish restaurants, I figure that will cover us either way." This leads Darryl to assume Elaine is Spanish. Finally they figure out they are just a couple of white people and decide to go to the Gap.
  49. β€’
    Yada, Yada, Yada I never heard from him again.
    The End.