THINGS I EXPERIENCED AS A FRESHMAN RA

When I was in college I was an RA in the freshman dorms for 2.5 years. It was so much fun but there was so much shit happening all the time. One time there was literal shit. This is just a fraction of what I saw during this wonderful time in my life!
  1. 3am wake up call for neighbors having sex
    I woke up to banging on my door. 2 residents said their neighbor was having sex. I told them to go back to their room so I could get dressed and handle it. After knocking and threatening to call public safety for quite a while she finally came to the door. All the lights were on and her room was a disaster. Most notably her bed. I questioned her for a few minutes and finally looked under the bed where I found a shirtless dude. He couldn't find his shoes so I made him leave barefoot.
  2. Porn parties
    I had an especially terrible group of kids that I loved hanging out with. We started out having Nintendo Wii parties in the lobby and they eventually morphed into each of us watching different porn on our laptops. We would critique everything and just have so many laughs. 2 Japanese exchange students told us they didn't like American porn because the guy's dicks were so big, lol
  3. Poop in the hallway
    This is pretty self-explanatory. There was a literal piece of doodoo on the floor in our hallway. Right outside the bathroom.
  4. Jerry Springer afternoons
    I had a group of girls that got together in one room every afternoon after classes to watch Jerry Springer together. This was 2008, not 1995.
  5. Anal bleeding
    A resident told me that her roommate came home one night and was crying. After a few minutes she asked what was wrong. The roommate told her that her boyfriend had convinced her to do anal and it wouldn't stop bleeding.
  6. Fire alarms
    I was in the shower one night when the fire alarms went off. It was mandatory that everybody leave the building when the alarm went off. I had to walk outside in my shower shoes and bathrobe. I was humiliated.
  7. Fire alarms pt. 2
    During the same fire alarm some guys decided to chug a gallon of milk. An English exchange student did it and started throwing up in the parking lot.
  8. Fire alarms pt. 3
    One year the boys only dorm was having a problem with false fire alarms. The school called the local fire department out to have a building-wide mandatory meeting about it. RAs from every building had to come to supervise and "talk" with the residents. My ex-boyfriend lived in the building and I literally had a panic attack when he texted me from across the room "you look good" 🔫
  9. No knock
    I was known to leave my door unlocked when I was in my room so a lot of my residents would just come in. One day one of my lesbian residents came in to find me laying naked on my bed. I think she learned to knock from then on.
  10. Afternoon beer
    I kept a Super Nintendo in my room so girls would come play video games with me in the afternoons. One day 2 girls were hanging out in my room. After a couple hours I realized that one of them (who was underage) had not been drinking a soda with a coozie on it like I thought but instead had had at least a couple beers since being there.
  11. Trash can puke
    One of my residents told me a story about how her roommate was throwing up in a trash can all night after getting drunk. I asked why she didn't go to the bathroom instead. It was because I told them in our initial hall meeting that I would kill them if I heard them puking in the bathroom which was right next to my room.