REASONS WHY MY GRANDMA HAS CALLED ME

Her name is Jeannette and she is everything to me.
  1. To let me know she was trying to buy my sister a North Face jacket online from Dick's Sporting Goods and instead found porn.
    I was in high school art class and she was crying.
  2. To ask if I'm voting for Hillary and then lecture me before I answered.
    I hung up.
  3. To ask if any of my friends would be willing to come up and visit them in Cape Cod.
    Not me... my friends.
  4. To say she missed my ex. And then she asked if she could call him "to give him a piece of her mind."
    She's still more upset than I ever was.
  5. To ask what I've eaten so far today.
    This was a weekly occurrence in college. Still happens from time to time.
  6. To tell me she's going to Niagara Falls.
    Nothing more.