THINGS THAT HAPPENED AT WORK TODAY

  1. I won $47 at Friday bingo
  2. We took fireball shots
  3. I ripped a hole in the crotch of my jeans
  4. Grown men played Nerf wars
  5. I ate a bagel, three cookies, and a sandwich for free
    Perhaps this contributed to the crotch hole?
  6. Coworkers scared me and I yelled 'Jesus' at an inappropriate decibel
    4 times
  7. I ruined my boss's birthday card and made the entire office sign a new one
  8. A coworker told me I seemed "too excited"
  9. I disinfected my phone 17 times
  10. Not a lot of productivity