Self-derived affirmations that I only remember to read when I am editing my iPhone notes; The CliffNotes version of 8 years of therapy.
  1. Emotional defenses serve me when in the company of those that are not "safe" (e.g. those that play the victim, manipulate, attempt to shame me) but do not serve me in the context of those that I trust. Skillfully using emotional defenses within appropriate contexts facilitates joy through empathy, nurturing and vulnerability.
  2. Reframe: I deserve good things. The more wealth, success, education I am able to attain, the more able I am to serve others (à la Maslow's hierarchy of needs). So don't have such a chip on your block about others' success.
  3. "Do you believe you are worthy of success, abundance, comfort, joy or do you believe something else? You will manifest the life you believe". (Okay, pretty sure this one's from Oprah, my other therapist...)
  4. Practice mindfulness. Herein lies truth, intuition, passion and creativity. It is when we are still and present that our calling, our inspiration finds us.
  5. Fearing the future, stewing in the past...these are the barriers to success. Success is calling you NOW!
  6. Becoming what you believe cannot be formed by your ego self, society or what others believe about you; rather, there is a "heart calling" that only you can bring to the world.
  7. You can't operate from "what you want to be" because that is so rooted in "what you don't have". Change the tape playing in repeat, "You're not enough" and operate from "I have this...I just haven't accessed this part of myself"
  8. Just because something is scary doesn't mean it's dangerous. Feeling emotions as they come can feel scary but it's not dangerous. You can feel emotions in a safe way. The suppression of emotions is what leads to bouts of inexplicable depression and stress-induced health issues.
  9. Success - Struggling v. Stability: I thrive in tough circumstances because I'm practiced at it, but the ability to promote internal growth comes from basic needs being met, stability, community, etc. When in "fight or flight" one can only survive one more day. When in a state of equilibrium, one can reach outside oneself to help others.
  10. Just because I've been conditioned that success is not success unless it feels painful or disproportionally difficult, doesn't mean I don't succeed. I work hard every day to help myself, help others and achieve in academia. Ultimately, my career path with help others.
  11. I don't need to move or blow up my marriage to mimic the chaos I grew up with. Internal chaos does not need to be externally projected.