SHIT I SAY TO MY KIDS

  1. This is not the [insert child's name] show
  2. Smarter, not harder
  3. Give me strength
  4. Choose your choice
  5. Where are your shoes?
  6. You need to calm down
  7. CHILL THE EFF OUT!
  8. Is your dad home yet?
  9. Look at me with your face
  10. You must be outta your gosh dang mind
  11. Are you bleeding? You're fine
  12. It's not my job to entertain you
  13. That's a mommy drink
  14. Corn dogs or chicken nuggets?
  15. Buck up!
  16. Because we're poor
  17. Why don't you have shoes on?
  18. Seriously! Where are your effing shoes?