May you all learn from my mistakes.
  1. Buying a "reel" lawnmower rather than a motorized one.
    Turns out I didn't need to save that extra $200 (particularly given all the thousands I've been hemorrhaging in house-related expenses since I moved in). What I needed was a lawnmower I could physically operate without having to take a running head start at the thing. True story.
  2. Failing to have my contractor, whom I've hired to tear down a load-bearing wall, commit to writing that this project would only take 2 weeks.
    Also, I need to stop watching HGTV, as that's where I got the idea to tear down the damn wall in the first place. And now I'm condemned to live indefinitely in a construction site.
  3. Having one too many cocktails at a friend'a fundraiser last week and bidding on (and then winning) a "Medici-style fountain" for my backyard, because I was so excited about the fact that I have a backyard.
    The fountain is roughly 1/3 the size of said backyard.
  4. Being motivated to move from my condo into a house in part because of the lack of closet space in my condo, and then buying a house built in the 1930s that has no closet space.
    I suspect that people in the 1930s only owned, like, 6 outfits, so perhaps back then my house's closets were considered huge, but right now I'm in worse closet shape than I was in my old place.
  5. Casually asking my mom what the difference was between ground cover and weeds when she was over last weekend.
    This happened just 6 short hours before she finished showing me.
  6. Indignantly telling my concerned boyfriend that, as a new homeowner, I was perfectly capable of assembling the furniture I ordered online myself, such that I now feel obligated to assemble said furniture myself.
    Let's just say this does not make me feel like "it's all about the O."