IF JOHN HUGHES MOVIES WERE MADE TODAY
Just re-read the Molly Ringwald interview with Time (http://time.com/3709835/molly-ringwald-breakfast-club-30th-anniversary/) for the 30th Anniversary of Breakfast Club...
- •The New Breakfast Club?Molly was asked, "Do you ever wonder what the movie would look like if it was made in 2015?" She said, "Yeah, no one would have talked. We would have all just been sitting there with our phones texting our friends." Which got me thinking...
- •Sixteen Candles 2.0Nothing is going right for Gen Z teen, Sam. It's her birthday, but no one in her family remembers until they get the Facebook reminder, and by then the damage is done. Speaking of Facebook, everyone's news feed is totally clogged with updates every hour for Sam's sister's impending nuptials. Meanwhile, at school, Sam accidentally sends an online sex quiz to her crush, Jake Ryan, who is also the subject of most of her answers.
- •Home Alone for a MinuteKevin McCallister wishes his family would just disappear: from his rude brother, Buzz, to his jackass Uncle Frank, to his mom who makes him sleep on an Aerobed all the way in the attic! For 3 glorious hours on Christmas Eve morning, Kevin has childish delusions that he has made his family disappear. Then, his family returns home because they realized they forgot Kevin at home & missed their flight, anyway, since there was NO fucking way they were all getting through security that fast.
- •Ferris Bueller's (Half) Day OffSenior charmer Ferris Bueller is having a perfect day playing hooky with his best friend, Cameron, and his girlfriend, Sloane. That is, until videos of him performing Shake It Off and Love On Top at the Von Steuben Day parade surface on YouTube and go viral. Then, he's screwed.
- •Pretty in PinterestAndie is just a girl from the wrong side of the freeway and Blaine is the cutest "richie" at school. But once they get together, Andie starts getting mean tweets, messages, and posts her way from Blaine's cruel friends. In an act of defiance, Andie deactivates all her accounts (except for Pinterest, which she uses to get cool ideas for her DIY Prom Dress). Blaine figures out the reason for Andie's online disappearance and follows suit, and they go "off the grid" together.
- •Planes, Trains and UberNeal and Del are trying to get from New York to Chicago for Thanksgiving. A storm reroutes them to Wichita, where Neal finds an outlet to charge his phone and uses Kayak to find the next flight out; Del thinks he can get them back faster by booking their travel the old-fashioned, person-to-person way. They argue the rest of the trip but their hybrid methods ultimately get them home: Neal realizes the value in working with others while Del "gets" the value of modern technology.
- •Mr. MomAhhh, the Parental-Gender-Role Swap. Everything is the same about this movie except the title (too on-the-nose), and the "role reversal" is framed as if it's totally normal/not a big deal, even though it is still the source of all the characters' problems ("I can't help that all the Class Moms at Yoga Day were checking me out!" "I love working again but I miss my kids!"). Everyone gets upset about this movie pre-release but nobody cares that much once it's in theaters, and it just disappears.
- •VacationExactly the same. I believe Clark Griswold would be the exact same fucking looney toon (lovably) in 2015 as he was in 1983.