STUFF I LIE ABOUT FAIRLY FREQUENTLY

The title of this list may belittle this point, but I truly lie very rarely. But honestly sometimes I do and when I do it's almost exclusively about these things.
  1. What time I left the house to meet you
    I swear I'm five minutes away [plus 10-15]
  2. What day I sent you that thing you needed me to send
    That damn post office [that poor post office]
  3. What really went down last night
    We just made out! [but also other stuff]
  4. If I saw your email
    Oh, weird, it hasn't come up on my phone yet - oh wait here it is, okay I'll look now [even though I saw it 10 min ago but I'm too tired to deal with you now]
  5. If I know [person I'm "supposed" to know that I definitely don't]
    Hmmmm why does that name sound familiar? [It doesn't.] I'm blanking. [I'm not.]
  6. How many beers I had the night before a hangover
    Add 4 to whatever lunacy just came out of my mouth
  7. If I've ever tried the really wild, exotic, crazy thing you're trying to make me eat
    Yes I have once and I didn't like it then so I'm off the hook now thanks though [0% chance this is ever true, I take no culinary risk, oh well]
  8. That I heard it's "supposed to be nice out this weekend!"
    Sometimes I just say this as small talk and hope it's true. If it is - wonderful. If it's not - I get to say that maybe the forecast changed and then usually the elevator opens and I'm free
  9. That's it though, otherwise I'm really honest but even in these instances, nobody gets hurt and we're all good but also yes it's rude I make people wait so I will try to fix that one all right?