My Weekend Without a Roommate

Things I did while home alone for 48 hours.
  1. Ate grocery store sushi with my bare hands.
  2. Made a french press in my underwear.
  3. Peed with the door open.
  4. Fell asleep during Weekend Update.
  5. Made my bed. Because I respect myself.
  6. Completed four unnecessary kitchen projects.
  7. Connected my alarm to the stereo so I could wake up to Bey's "Hold Up" in surround sound.