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  1. Very true words on the wall at True Eats in Scottsdale that I felt the need to commemorate.
    Teriyaki bowl there was one of the best meals I've had in a loooong time.
  2. South Mountain hike outside Phoenix
    Just got back from spring break so...
  3. My little brother is coming to the same college as me next year so he sent me on a quest for cool socks he could wear during his soccer games.
5 more...
  1. Weird, smelly antique stores.
  2. Selected items from your suitcase, organized with serial killer like precision and photographed from directly above.
  3. A picture of you taken from across the street, standing alone in front of a wall covered in ivy.
4 more...
Looking at you, Cecily Strong. Most of these are actual things I've overheard real people saying. Will continue to update as I come in contact with new silly people.
  1. We watched those people get departed.
    My friend actually said this in a discussion about immigration, intending to say "deported."
  2. Then we had a visual.
    Same friend. Same conversation. She meant "vigil."
  3. Maintain the status flow.
    I laugh every time I read this one.
4 more...
Bios I would use if I wasn't trying to promote myself on social media as a competent young professional.
  1. Opinions here are my own (because I am an egotistical asshole)
  2. Average height, average weight, above average self-confidence in my subpar ability.
  3. NSFW EXPLICIT CONTENT FOLLOW AT OWN RISK
4 more...