REJECTED TWITTER BIOS

Bios I would use if I wasn't trying to promote myself on social media as a competent young professional.
  1. Opinions here are my own (because I am an egotistical asshole)
  2. Average height, average weight, above average self-confidence in my subpar ability.
  3. NSFW EXPLICIT CONTENT FOLLOW AT OWN RISK
  4. Opinions here are my own. You might have the same ones too I guess but back the fuck off, these are mine.
  5. Congress is broken, journalism is dead, religion is corrupt, life has no meaning, everything is a lie. Follow for #sunshine & #motivation
  6. Seer, breather, smeller, toucher, listener. Those are just the five senses, you still know nothing about me.
  7. Ask me about my wiener. "Wiener" is the nickname I use for my thoughts and opinions. I have a lot of wieners.