Looking at you, Cecily Strong. Most of these are actual things I've overheard real people saying. Will continue to update as I come in contact with new silly people.
  1. We watched those people get departed.
    My friend actually said this in a discussion about immigration, intending to say "deported."
  2. Then we had a visual.
    Same friend. Same conversation. She meant "vigil."
  3. Maintain the status flow.
    I laugh every time I read this one.
  4. Coppicer
    Cop and officer.
  5. Lasterday
    Last night and yesterday.
  6. Automediately
    Automatically and immediately.
  7. Color-coordinized
    Color-coordinated and organized.