ALL THE MEDIOCRE BOYS I HAVE KISSED IN MY 20 YEARS OF LIFE

  1. 15: JJ
    First major crush. I waited FOREVER for him to kiss me because he didn't ever have the guts to do it. It was in his car on the way home from school. I still remember the date: March 22nd. I know this because something strange always happens relating to my love life every March 22nd. A couple weeks later he asked one of my best friends to prom. We kissed a few more times after that because I'm weak.
  2. 16: Dylan
    My best friend. Gay. We both just needed someone to make out with at midnight on New Year's Eve.
  3. 16: Jacob
    My other high school best friend. He's basically my brother so I think I repressed this memory because I only just remembered this happened. His lips were like slimy worms.
  4. 18: Kawan
    My roommate's boyfriend's roommate. I think when I first got to college I wanted some romantic storyline to happen in my life so bad I jumped on the first guy I could find. This was a horrible kiss, it was so slobbery it was like kissing a cow.
  5. 18: Kyle
    A girl on my floor told me "Kyle thinks you're adorable" and my insecure ass was all over that. This was the first in a long string of drunken college kisses. We hung out later and it was super awkward because sober me is not attracted to him AT ALL. He's a super nice guy tho and probably deserves better than me.
  6. 18: Paul
    I had seen him on the very first day I moved into college and I remember thinking "damn he's hot, college boys are so hot". Never in my life would I have thought he would be interested in me (note the theme of extreme lack of self confidence running through this list). One night I got drunk and said fuck it and had sex with him. This probably isn't the best way to lose your virginity, but for me it was perfect. I just needed to get it over with. I think he may have been into me after that, but
  7. (Cont.) all I wanted was a guy to pay attention to me when I was drunk. The last kind of person I ever thought I would be is the person who can hook up with guys and never develop feelings, but here I am.
  8. 19: ??
    I don't remember this guy's name or what he looks like. I was at a party that the Cuban Student club was throwing and some guy yelled "kiss me!" at my friend and me when we were leaving. My friend did it so I guess drunk me thought, if Kelly did it why shouldn't I? Note: following Kelly's drunk behavior is never a good idea.
  9. 19: Nate
    The whole conversation went: "hey you live on my floor!" "Yeah! What's your name?" "I'm Nate" "I'm Maddie" *proceeds to make out*
  10. 19: Hunter
    Happened the same night as Nate. I didn't even remember that this happened and only know it happened because he told me about it later.
  11. 19: Tristan
    This is the beginning of my true hoe phase. I had started to realize that guys actually find me attractive and that guys I find attractive might also be into me too. This was a huge revelation since beforehand I had thought I was average/ugly and no guy ever noticed me. Anyways I made out with him and then later that night Kelly made out with him. He's tried hooking up with me on several occasions but that will never happen. He's white and he says the n word in his Snapchat stories.
  12. 19: ??
    Danced with him at a party. Don't remember what he looked like and never learned his name.
  13. 19: Jacob
    Now THIS guy is a fun one. I met him the semester before where he tried to hook up with me and I just kept saying "I'm tired, I have to wake up early tomorrow, etc." He was very adamant about adding me on Facebook and when I went on his profile, the most recent post is of him and his girlfriend from like a week before. A few months later, I saw him at a party and straight up asked him "hey jacob how's your girlfriend doing?" Apparently they have an open long distance relationship
  14. (Cont.) and she had been hooking up with other guys. So drunk me said, fuck it, technically I'm not doing anything wrong, and hooked up with him. About a week later I met his girlfriend at another party when she flew down to see him. I also found out he hooked up with one of my coworkers and we bonded over that so thanks Jacob for the new friend.
  15. 19: JP
    Another big one. I had had a major crush on this guy since I first met him (he's my coworker). I'm talking MAJOR. For over a year. And nothing ever happened. He is pretty much perfect looking so never did I think anything would happen between us. He invited me over to his apartment after we met up at a party, and when he was walking me home, we started slow dancing in the road even though there was no music and it was pretty fucking cute. A few days later he told me
  16. (Cont.) he didn't remember much of what happened and it didn't mean anything. I cried in my shower for like 45 minutes and didn't talk to him for the rest of the semester although we worked all the same shifts. Now, we're just friends and I have no feelings for him. The fact that he actually thinks I'm attractive was a self confidence boost tho
  17. 19: Danny
    This was some type of rebound from the previous guy. He told me he had a boner and when I wouldn't let him come home with me he got angry so thankfully I dodge that bullet.
  18. 19: Pat
    Don't remember meeting him. Woke up from a black out and I'm making out with him and I don't have a clue where I am. Forgot my glasses at his house or where ever the fuck I was and made him drive and give them to me. This guy makes my skin crawl.
  19. 19: Taha
    Super attractive guy who I never thought would find me attractive. This was just another case of me being drunk and wanting attention and also wanting validation that guys I never thought would be interested in me actually are. First time I had sex in a year. Happened on March 22nd.
  20. 19: Brandon
    Was Taha's suitemate. However, my hoe phase was over at this point so when the time came to "go back to his place" or whatever I literally ran away from him. He aggressively avoids eye contact with me now.
  21. 19-20: Ben
    This is the most interesting story of them all. It hurts too much to think about right now, but maybe someday I'll want to type it all out. I think he's going to be the last boy I kiss for a while.