Don't judge me!
- •Building time machines to travel back to 1988 with the sole purpose of sucking my own six year old penis because I'm a brilliant narcissistic perverted pedophile.
- •Making up intricate wordy lies for the sheer purpose of Self entertainment.
- •Placing piles of soggy fecal matter on paper plates in the microwave for a cool 60 seconds so I can confidently declare: "I got the hot shit!"
- •Telling women "I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for" as a feeble attempt to mislead them of my penis size while subtly letting them know I'm a John Mayer fan.