1. It makes me feel fancy. 👑
    Static
    Luxury is all about being wasteful and not giving a fuck. To spit in the face of Friday night is to feel true power over the masses.
  2. It makes me feel cool. Like I'm a New Yorker.
    Giphy
    Isn't that something New Yorkers do? Like to recharge after partying every weeknight until 5am and heading straight into work...? Am I making this up?
  3. Snapchat needs me to weekly test all new selfie lenses.
    Static
    Multiple times. Multiple angles.
  4. Social anxiety only occurs with the takeout guy.
    Giphy
  5. During the week I'm too busy to Instagram my food.
    Static
    but not on Friday nights. On Friday nights I'm ready. 📸
  6. My cleaner comes on Friday.
    Giphy
    I can bask in the glow of my floors and pretend I'm one of those superior beings who has their shit together.
  7. I get to take my time picking out a nice movie to watch.
    Giphy
    and then proceed promptly into Analysis Paralysis Land and be over the whole thing by my 39th iTunes rental trailer.
  8. I no longer suffer from IBS on Friday nights.
    Giphy
    (Interrupting Bro Syndrome)
  9. I catch up on world politics.
    Static
    By online shopping while watching a week's worth of the Daily Show- which tonight, reminded me of list app. 💁🏼