1. Fiona
    4a1280e8 ad9a 475c 95ac d43a15e93510
    Fiona Apple always has and always will kick ass
  2. Cider, alcoholic
    3819e501 7eaf 476c 8490 47168d9b0336
    Whoever first thought of this was a true titan
  3. created by Steve Jobs
    Bc43b9ef 57c1 41fc 867a c7a394199340
    Steve-o smiling cuz it costs child laborers 25 cents to make a 600 dollar phone. RIP ya crazy bastard
  4. Pie
    F55a4d99 b6c3 4c48 bee5 c22b031c59f5
    An American classic
  5. Honey crisp
    E33036aa 156f 4453 bab4 ef969fe6ff8c
    Arguably the best of all the apples, and worth the hefty price tag.
  6. The Desperate Housewives apple
    7e923dc6 867c 4f66 8cbd 72f394e4cd75
    This is a sexy, fun apple you kinda feel guilty about eating.
  7. Apple bottom jeans
    5d08ee52 3ff7 44b6 b83a fae44a08f814
    Shawty got low
  8. Applebee's
    E88a13ab e626 452d 8683 152f025055ca
    The only reason Applebee's isn't dead last on this list is because of its affiliation with John Corbett. My love for John Corbett could move mountains, or in this case, convince me to think about maybe going to Applebee's. It's all good in the neighborhood. (Thanks to @sarahgorman for reminding me about this!)
  9. Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin's daughter
    622f4ff0 5aef 4096 922f 27d6e663afa7
    Homegirl is towards the bottom of the list because I know absolutely nothing about her, except for the pity I feel for her because of her name. also Goop is probably a helicopter mom, which is sad as well.
  10. The Original Apple: Garden of Eden
    309db8df 392f 4b4f 855b 7b4490076a7b
    This apple totally sucks. Basically caused the fall of man, & thanks to Eve eating it & disobeying our Lord and Savior, I am cursed with the pain of childbirth and periods.