Texts I've Sent That Adequately Describe Who I Am as a Person
Now in 10 mundane text messages for easy reading!
- •"Did u ever check your mailbox lately"I don't even know what tense I'm trying to be in, & it wasn't even that late when I sent this. Also, have gotten far too comfortable using texting slang with my close friends.
- •"I can't wait to see him and his totally average peen in a loincloth"regarding Alex Skarsgaard playing Tarzan in the new movie. Probably better with no context at all
- •"Are you caught up on Survivor"I text this to @carpar every week while I'm watching survivor with my grandma. With no punctuation, because I'm too busy strategizing with Woo.
- •"This is gonna be like when JK Rowling got rejected at every major publisher, or when Back To The Future was passed on by every studio. I will rise up."When I felt like a list I was really proud of didn't get the credit it deserved. Yeah, seriously.
- •"Daniel Craig has truly never been hotter. He was so dumpy."💯 Dumpy men 💯
- •"Is there bath water?"I text this to my mom at least 4 times a week. Nothin' worse than going to take a bath and all the hot water is already used by your bathing mother.
- •"Middle aged white dudes LOVE me. Which he is. I googled him."Sent to @mieka re: my impending court date to fight a traffic ticket with a white judge. Who I googled.
- •"Kramer 💕👄"Self explanatory 😬
- •"Wait I think I left my rings at your house!!"Constantly leaving my rings everywhere, constantly worried I will lose them forever.
- •"Chicken sandwich, waffle fries. If it's not much more for a deluxe you can do that but it's not necessary. With chic Fil a sauce"