Ranked from all-time fave to would-eat-if-vaguely hungry
  1. Mashed potatoes
    Bonus points if loaded, but would still inhale the instant mix kind
  2. Fries*
    Fat ones and not the shoestring kind
  3. Baked potato
    I thank Wendy's for this
  4. Hash browns
    Both the corned beef and hash kind and the McDonald's patties are acceptable forms
  5. Tater tots
    Best paired with Jell-O shots, AKA “Shots 'n Tots,” as Tom Douglas' Brave Horse Tavern calls it
  6. Roasted and cut into chunks
    Drizzled in olive oil and herbs, bitch
  7. Potato chips
    The least satisfying of the bunch, but can eat the whole bag if I wanted to