When you know you've had a solid AF Monday

Because not all Mondays are created equally.
  1. When you wake up and instead of the one normal bowel movement, you have about 6 more.
  2. When you see headlines claiming Beyonce's Ivy Park collection was made in sweatshop-like conditions.
    And you feel personally offended by it. How could you, Bey?
  3. When your dog dry heaves and proceeds to vomit bile all over that one dish towel you've never used and will now never use, ever.
    Who knows what that dish towel could have achieved? RIP.
  4. When you Google 'what to do when your dog vomits bile' and then accidentally make a f*** ton of white rice.
    "Cook enough rice?" my boyfriend asks sarcastically.
  5. When you go to the gym for the first time in about a month to only last 30 minutes, leave feeling accomplished and then run into 2 super-fit ppl sunbathing on freaking noon on a Monday.
    Do you guys even have jobs? Do you just have money always? Can I have your lives?
  6. When you get off work and start watching The Challenge. The new season.
    Why even am I watching this?
  7. When you hear someone on The Challenge mention they 'go to music festivals all the time with their best friends' and 'oh and I'm a waitress' and suddenly feel OK with your life.
    Not her in the pic. Just some chick. (I'm only on ep one, so we aren't quite first-name basis yet.)
  8. When you have to wait another hour just to eat dinner at a respectable hour but you are so hungry and just want food NOW DAMMIT.
    So you eat the white rice intended for your sick dog. #winning