IF YOU SAY THIS, YOU GET THAT

Wine festivals/tastings/shows often follow a standard format: ask to taste a wine, I pour, and then explain a tidbit about the wine while you taste. Some people didn't get the memo.
  1. Give me your sweetest wine
    Grape Kool-Aid
  2. Cabernet!
    Cabernet Sauvignon, begrudgingly. You are welcome to use full sentences, sir.
  3. Which is your favorite?
    The one that I am already holding and poured for the person before you.
  4. I want to try your Champagne
    A brief rant about using imprecise language and a taste of Méthode Cap Classique
  5. Where are you from?
    I was shipped here from Outer Space in a futuristic egg and am working to build the technology to bring the rest of my people here so we can avoid the destruction of our home planet. Try this Sauvignon Blanc.
  6. What is Syrah?
    Wine. A taste of Syrah.
  7. I'd like to try your vintage, please
    A confused look