IRREFUTABLE WINE DESCRIPTORS
Perhaps you want to sound smart about wine, but are actually clueless. Say these things. They sound somewhat smart and are largely irrefutable.
- •Having MineralityNo one can prove that soil imparts any chemical components into finished wine. Many people swear that soil minerals affect the wine flavour. Thread the needle by describing the wine as having a Minerality and steadfastly refusing to elaborate what this actually means.
- •EarthyDoes not apply to wines made on Moon, Mars, or other extraterrestrial colonies.
- •ElegantSome people think TJ Maxx is elegant. Go to town with this one.
- •ComplexYes, it is complex. Nature is boundless in its weirdness. Roll with it.
- •FruitfulThe wine is literally full of fruit. The sole ingredient is fruit.
- •EnjoyableJoy is in the eye of the beholder. If you enjoy it, it is enjoyable. End of debate.