THINGS AT GYM THAT SIGNAL HUMANITY'S EMINENT DEMISE
Drawn primarily from the Virgin Active Paarl. Suggestions gladly accepted.
- •Men whose huge legs inhibit them from walking normally
- •Texting between sets
- •Couples working out together for whom one partner's physical appearance appears to be both partners' singular focus in life
- •Eating junk food on the elliptical
- •Conspicuously lifting up your shirt or shorts to examine yourself in the mirror
- •Comically large biceps on men who are ostensibly unable to engage in meaningful physical activity
- •Texting from the treadmillArghh no! I do this!
- •Putting your goddamn towel on equipment that you then neglect to use for a fucking half an hour
- •Wearing a belt, gloves, or other speciality equipment in order to do a squat
- •Not letting someone work in with you.Actually I deem this the most reprehensible practice on this list and feel that perhaps I may have written this whole list to express my strong opinion on this point. Why can't I work in, bru?
- •Synchronized grunting
- •Holding equipment for someone other than yourself
- •Fucking toweling off in front of the full length mirror that is in a narrow passageway. Dude that is a home activity bru.