UNSUBSTANTIATED OPINIONS I HOLD ABOUT MEDICINE

So I am hugely not into modern medicine in an oddly retrograde, anti-science kind of way. Here are some totally unsubstantiated things I think. Do not believe me; apparently it is dangerous and bad to think this way?
  1. Pain is in your brain
    Sometimes when I hurt I mediate on what that means, physically, and then laugh at the cosmic joke that such a minute electrical signal should debilitate me. I get intense pleasure out of turning pain signals into happy signals and sort of crossing wires in what must appear to the outside world as a really twisted, inverse nutso laugh at intense pain. I think this is also known as masochism.
  2. When I get ready to die, I do not want to be anywhere near a hospital
    I'm hoping for some kind of blunt trauma that just sort of obliterates me but I guess that is ever more rare. Having been in hospitals, they are just not nice places. I'll stay put I think.
  3. Motion is the lotion
    I read this about sprains and basically took it to mean that I should never immobilize any part of me to repair it. Kind of goes along with the good kind of pain.
  4. One can subconsciously affect the intensity and direction of one's immunological response
    OK so this is in nutso territory but I think it's true. Concentrating/meditating on injuries and illness has always helped me in the past in a totally non-quantifiable, non-empirical way. Once I had a wart that I thought away.
  5. Stitches and butterfly bandages are close substitutes
    Ever since I cracked my head open on the playground in rural Nigeria as a kid I have respected he butterfly bandage. Super glue comes in as a close second.
  6. Babies/children should be quarantined
    Not sure if this is totally a mis-addition to this list, but babies appear to me to be massively infected with, obsessed with, and controlled by bacteria, viruses and illness. And I do not have the benefit of breast-milk induced immunological superiority. So no, I will not touch your baby. Thank you.
  7. The vast majority of doctors over-treat illness in a stifling, agency-reducing way
    If you ask a doctor a question, 9/10 they will recite to you a variety of facts from a medical textbook and tell you about a medical procedure that you should probably undertake, just to be safe.