VALENTINE'S DAY IDEAS FOR YOUR STUPID RELATIONSHIP

Not bitter
  1. Go to a stupid restaurant and order some dumb romantic dish, like chicken vindaloo
  2. Go on a dumb scenic drive because you have nothing to say to each other and would rather watch the scenery
  3. Buy your date a car, because everyone likes giant bows on new cars
  4. Talk to your dumb date about how much doing it you're going to do then drink too much
  5. Buy some dumb flowers
    I hope they wilt
  6. But some dumb melted chocolates and eat half of them beforehand anyways then put them in a smaller box than they originally came in so your dumb date doesn't notice
    Not taken from actual experience
  7. Wear matching "I'm with stupid" holiday sweaters
  8. Smooches