Things That People Don't Use That I Still Do

  1. My email.
    I'm not talking about just using it for porn subscriptions or your Amazon account.
  2. "ChapStick" brand chapstick.
    EOS and Burt's Bees are very expensive, you guys.
  3. My radio.
    It's actually my grandpa's and it inspired Adele's "Hello" because she didn't know if she was getting through all the static from me adjusting the antenna.
  4. Pencils.
    There's a character about your own penmanship when you write with those things that Tommy used to always borrow in the fifth grade and when he'd return them there'd be chew marks all over.
  5. A nightlight.
    I have no time to psychologically sacrifice myself because of Sarah Jessica Parker in 'Hocus Pocus'.