1. When my friend asks me if I want to go to his comedy show
    Damn, I already have plans tonight! Next time!
  2. When I ate too much food
    I just devoured a whole pizza- I don't think I could squeeze into jeans if I wanted too
  3. When you ask me to meet you in another part of town
    You may as well be in a different country.
  4. When you ask me to go to Hollywood Ave
    F**k parking
  5. When I just hit play on my next Netflix episode
    *ignores phone*
  6. Anytime after 6pm on a weekday
    Im so tired from sitting on my ass looking at the internet all day at work, I just need to go home and do the same...but add wine.