Things I wish were true but are definitely not ;)

  1. Trump will actually be a great president
    He is playing everyone and he has been his whole life. Secretly he is a great person and business man.
  2. There are gnomes that steal your socks
    And they use them for some really important reason in their gnomish community's.
  3. Global warming is real and intentional
    The powers that be are trying to turn the whole globe into a paradise with perfect temperature but they are still working out the kinks that don't destroy the planet.
  4. Every famous person who has been assassinated planned it themselves.
    They faked their deaths because they actually aliens that were trying to help the planet but decided it was screwed and got the fuck out!
  5. Obama isn't really American
    He is a robot