Reasons I think I'm pregnant based on what I ate yesterday

AKA a food diary
  1. Breakfast: A caramel roll.
    Gotta start the day off right, ya feel?
  2. After breakfast snack: a large spoonful of chunky peanut butter.
    Obviously it was Skippy.
  3. After breakfast snack two: half a full size Hershey bar.
    Chocolate fix.
  4. Lunch: a small serving of potato salad and a small serving of broccoli salad.
    "Healthy."
  5. After lunch snack: a 1/4 bag of Tostitos with Sriracha on them.
    This is a new discovery. Can't tell if I love it or hate it, but hey, I ate it.
  6. After lunch snack two: the other half of that full size Hershey bar.
    Leave no chocolate behind.
  7. Afternoon snack: a beer.
    So...not pregnant?