Most of which will probably end up in a pawn shop somewhere down the road.
  1. Pinky ring
    Don't speak to me unless you kiss it first. Worth about a down payment of a small mansion in calabasas.
  2. 24k gold straw
    With the slurpee extension.
  3. Brick of cocaine
    So I could rap about it. Also, so I know how much a brick of cocaine weighs, and rap that to the decimal so they know I'm not lying. Turns out I was ripped off.
  4. A condo in Florida
    Because Cali is too expensive. One I'd plan on renovating but would never get to until it's too late.
  5. High end tools
    For said condo. The pawn shop will love these.
  6. Apple stake
    Thinking I'd be the first one to have new products. Turns out, I don't even own half of percent in the company. I'd settle to be a beta tester.
  7. Fast food franchise
    Church's chicken. Wing stop wanted at least a mil in the bank, even if I had half of it sitting on my smallest finger. Later shut down by health inspector.
  8. Life insurance
    Might tell the wrong person to kiss my ring.