SPECIAL SKILLS I WISH I COULD LIST ON A RÈSUMÈ

  1. Worrying like I could medal in it
  2. Recognizing disease symptoms in time to medicate proactively
  3. Former fastest silverware roller at this one restaurant somewhere
  4. Fan girling over multiple celebrities at once
  5. Juggling...too many responsibilities
  6. Can finish a whole box of Kraft Mac alone in one sitting
    (Can demonstrate upon request)